|
Disclaimer: This week’s newsletter is directed primarily toward parents, grandparents, teachers and friends dealing with kids from ages 8-16. However, as always, with a little stretch you’ll be able to apply these same principles to many walks of life. This is the 2nd part of the Two-Part series on Kids!
As we mentioned in Part 1, if you have children between the ages of 8-16 you’ve probably heard comments like these…
“I’ll Never Get my Spelling Words Right!”
“Dad, Christa and Her Friends Hate Me!”
“That’s Not Fair!
“Mom, I’m Afraid I’m Going to Die.”
And sometimes even “I Hate You!”
How in the world do we respond to comments like these?
It can be down right exhausting…as you know.
Kids: Part Two
Dropping Dead on the Cross Country Course
A few weeks ago I was talking with a mom who was concerned about her son. She was a little exasperated as she explained that her son, 12 year old Matt, wanted to quit the cross-country team. He was afraid he was going to get out in the middle of the “country”, fall over and die right in the middle of practice!
Now, what would you say to Matt?
No, be honest. Think for a few seconds and tell me what you would say if your son or daughter says,
“I’m not running cross country because I’m afraid I’m going to die.”
Here are some parental tactics used in this little game…
by some of the most seasoned parents
“Oh, honey (nice sweet voice) you’re not going to die”
OR
“Come on, you’re NOT going to DIE!”
OR
“Stop worrying so much, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
OR
“You’re not going to die; God will take care of you.”
YOU ARE DYING!
I remember having a similar discussion a few months back. I just had my annual physical and I walked back into the office and my partner (with an enormous amount of sarcastic compassion) asks, “So, are you dying?”
Of course, my response was an emphatic, “YES” and then went on to inform my partner that he was dying too, he just didn’t know when.
So my partner’s response to his son’s concern of “I’m afraid I’m going to die,” might simply be, “well son, you ARE dying!”
However, as you can imagine, this might create even MORE havoc in the household. Especially when mom finds out what dad told her son! Mom will surely freak out wondering how she’s ever going to get her son to sleep, as his worry about dying escalates as soon as his head hits the pillow…of course, because of dad’s stupid comment!
The Plot Thickens...
This Time on the SOCCER FIELD!
Matt’s mom had a dilemma that was actually a little more challenging than most. She knew she couldn’t get by with telling Matt, “You’re not going to die on the cross country course.”
Why?
Because Matt’s dad just a few years before, while still in his 30’s, died suddenly while on a soccer field.
Nope, no way are you going to tell Matt that HE’S “not going to die.” Matt had already learned a hard lesson before he reached age 10: people can die at any age.
TIME TO TAKE A DIFFERENT COURSE
Tonight would be very different for mom. She decided to take a very different course of action. As Matt was being tucked into bed that evening mom asked…
“Matt, why is it that you don’t want to run cross country? Can you tell me again?”
“Mom, I’ve already told you a hundred times, I don’t want to run cross country because I’m afraid I’ll be in the middle of nowhere and die.”
“You would die?”
“Yes, I would die and that would be horrible, I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” as Matt’s watery eyes desperetly tried to hold back tough memories.
“Matt, what would be wrong with dying?”
“What? It would be horrible.”
“Matt, if you died what would happen next? I mean with you, what would happen next?”
Slowly, thoughtfully, Matt replied, “I’d go to heaven.”
“What would be horrible about that?”
“Uh…Nothing…I guess”
“So you’re saying there really wouldn’t be anything horrible about going to heaven?”
“No, heaven isn’t horrible.”
“So, what about dying, is it really horrible?”
“I don’t know mom, I guess I’ve never really thought of it like that.”
“Let’s think about it for a minute. Let’s say you are out in the middle of the cross-country course and you suddenly died…then what?
“I’d go to heaven,” Matt replied.
“And I want to know what’s so horrible about that?”
“I guess nothing”
“Look Matt, if something ever happened to you I would be very sad and miss you more than you can imagine, but you are right, it wouldn’t be horrible. In fact, as you went to heaven I’d be waving every day until I was able to be with you…and your father, again! Heaven…yes, but horrible…no. It would be ok. Believe it or not Matt, it’s ok to die.”
Matt’s watery eyes dried up and he thought about what was True about death and said, “Thanks mom.”
REFLECTIONS
Later that night Matt’s mom reflected on their conversation and how easy it would have been to say, “Stop worrying, you’re not going to die.”
She also thought about how odd it seemed at first to tell her son that it was “ok to die”. She wished someone had told her that when she was Matt’s age. What freedom. What relief THAT would have been…to believe something that TRUE and feel that FREE.
The Spirit Keeps Moving
As Matt’s mom opened her Bible up that evening her eyes happened to land in Hebrews:
“By (Jesus) embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the Devil’s hold on death and FREED all who cower through life, scared to death of death.”
(Hebrews 2:15, The Message)
In the NASB it sounds like this:
“…Himself (Jesus) likewise also partook of the same, so that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is the devil, and FREE those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.”
(Hebrews 2:14-15, NASB)
Lucky for Matt, the chains of slavery…the chains of being scared to death of death, were slowly unlocked with the help of a mom willing to avoid the “easy answers” and focus on the Truth!
Derek
P.S. As always I want to thank all the people involved in the Lives Transforming newsletters and message. For those of you that don’t know, the stories that are told are ALL based on real life, true stories of Lives Transforming!
|
.jpg){kind=spacer}
