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“WANT” TYRANNY
Warning: You may want to grab some Tylenol now. This could stretch your brain.
Not to be over-dramatic, but this topic may be based on the oldest and most prevalent lie in the universe. So hang in there, work through it, keep your mind open…but don’t let your brains fall out. : )
First: Write down 3 things you WANT but you don’t HAVE!
(Below are some examples from Monday night)
1. _________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________
Examples from Monday night group:
- I want my kids to do chores cheerfully
- I want blonde hair (without the chemicals)
- I want financial freedom
- I want to be responsible. I want my husband to be responsible. I want to be irresponsible. : )
- And my favorite…I want a do over!
Second: Write down 1 thing that you WANT TO BE that you are NOT!
1. _________________________________________________________________
Examples from Monday night group:
- I want to be famous
- I want to be skinny
- I want to be used by God
Did you write them down? Probably not! So stop reading and write them down, it will take less 60 seconds I PROMISE. You might be surprised how easy it is!
THE GOOD “WANTS”…TRIP US UP
If you have been a Christian for a while or been around church much, it is highly likely your list does NOT include things like…”I want to be famous” or “I want to be successful”. Why? Two reasons are possible (maybe more)…
- Somewhere along the line it was communicated that fame and fortune don’t satisfy. Maybe you’ve even read Ecclesiastes and in the back of your mind you think…I shouldn’t want “those things”.
- Another reason we don’t write “I want fame and success” is because, although we WANT them…people would probably think we were being vain if we said them OUT LOUD. So we keep it a secret.
ENEMY LOSES THE BATTLE TO TRY AND WIN THE WAR
So the Enemy lets us win this little battle, and instead, he goes after most Christians in a very different way.
Instead of firing an arrow at our heads that says:
“You should want fame and fortune”…a battle he knows he may not win
He fires off another arrow, one more likely to be effective, that says something like this:
“You should want your friends to come to Christ”
“You should want a healthy relationship with your dad”
“You should be used by God”
The Enemy shoots his arrows and attempts to twist even this “Good Stuff” into a mangled mess. And it trips us up!
Hang in there! I told you this was going to stretch your brain a little. But we are going to get very specific with real stories and examples soon. Don’t give up! Keep reading!
Let’s see how this works.
I WANT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD
(based on a Monday night true story…told anonymously)
A simple little, seemingly very healthy thought by a friend we will call Sally, “I want a healthy relationship with my dad.” How can that thought possibly trip us up? How can that be unhealthy? Is it possible it could even be based on a lie? Ouch…as my daughter would say, “you’re going to have to show me that in the Bible.”
First, how do we know if this thought is a lie? Simple…most of you know already. Ask yourself what emotions are associated with the thought. This is how you take your spiritual temperature. When you think a thought…what do you feel? Do you feel peace and joy…fruit of the Spirit or not? That’s how you tell if it’s based on a lie or not. It was pretty easy for Sally to decide it was based on a lie. Here’s her notes…
SALLY’S DISCOVERY NOTES
“Anger, frustration and tears.”
- WRITE DOWN THE THOUGHT(S)
“I want a healthy relationship with my dad.”
“I want something I don’t have” (The Coveting Lie)
“I want a healthy relationship with my dad because it makes me feel bad when he doesn’t like me.”
“Because of my relationship with my dad there must be something wrong with me. I feel like I’m somehow ‘less’ than what I should be.”
“I already have everything I need in me, because God is in me, and that is what makes my life valuable and complete. My life is already complete.” (Colossians 2:10, NAS)
“My dad’s opinion of me can never change my worth or value as a person. I don’t need a relationship with my dad to feel better about myself.” (Galatians 6:14-16, The Message).
“God in me has already made me righteous (good enough for even God) and nothing can change that!” (Romans 3:21-22; Romans 4:5, NAS)
“I don’t need a relationship with my dad anymore, I’ll be just fine.”
(Wow…what a relief)
- RENEW, RENEW, RENEW…reading the truth statement over and over!
IMPACT TIME! T-E-A
How does this Truth impact Sally? Let’s see in real life…
Living Based on a Lie
Sally’s Thought (T): “I want a healthy relationship with my dad.”
Sally’s Emotions (E): Anger, frustration and tears.
Sally’s Actions (A): A nasty letter, verbal arguments and fights with her dad.
Living Based on Truth
Sally’s Thought (T): “I love my dad. But a healthy relationship with my dad doesn’t impact who I am or how I feel about myself. I love him, but don’t need him anymore.”
Sally’s Emotions (E): Relief, peace, and empathy.
Sally’s Actions (A): A letter. A different letter sent by Sally. One that tells her dad she loves him. However, understands that he may not want a relationship with her and that is ok.
BIG QUESTION
Out of curiosity…which direction, the Lie direction or the Truth direction creates a more likely scenario for reconciliation with Sally’s dad?
You are right…Truth!
God’s Truth is powerful!
MAYBE THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL
The Coveting Lie might be the most foundational lie known to mankind. The best definition that I have found for Coveting is:
I want what I don’t have and I want to be who I’m not!
And when we fall into this trap it is DANGEROUS! It creates Tyranny within us!
GIVE ME A VERSE TO FIGHT THESE LIES
(For your convenience, I have already changed the verse into the first person for you)
Since Jesus went through everything I’m going through and more, I’m learning to think like him. I think of my sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get my way. Then I’m able to live out my days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what I want. (I Peter 4:1-2, The Message)
DEREK’S PERSONAL STORY
Many readers, like me, are involved in ministry either as a vocation or as a volunteer (I’m a volunteer). So guess what Satan shoots at me? My little coveting lie looks something like this…
I want to be used by God
(I want to be who I’m not… or…I want more of what I got)
Sounds good on the surface, “I want to be used by God,” but dig a little deeper and you just might find all kind of nasty lies when I take my spiritual temperature…
- God can use me to bring people to Himself (then I’ll feel better about myself)
- God can use me to get His Message out and help people’s lives change (then I’ll be more valuable)
- God can use me to further His kingdom (maybe God will like me more)
UGHHHHH! Lie, lie, lie….
HOW DO I OVERCOME THESE LIES?
Simple really….I have two statements I read over and over again (you know, renewing my mind). They are in my memory, next to my desk and in my briefcase (actually, it’s a man purse)! One is by Oswald Chambers and the other is by, well, you guessed it…God.
“We say – God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is.”
Oswald Chambers
On the contrary, who am I who answers back to God? The thing molded (that’s me) will not say to the molder (that’s God), “Why did you make me like this, will it?” Or does not the potter (God) have a right over the clay (me), to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another common use?
Romans 9:20-21
WRAP IT UP DEREK!
LIE:
I want what I don’t have and I want to be who I’m not.
TRUTH:
With God in me I have all I need, I am complete. He’s decided to make me who I am. And who am I to question Him?
WHAT A RELIEF!
Derek
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